How I Found my True Confidence
When I was younger I used to consider confidence as an impression of oneself based on external appearances. I always thought I was pretty and liked my body for the most part, with the occasional off day. I realized though that the true core of confidence comes from how you feel about yourself as a soul, as human, living through your experiences. I have had my fair share of people make comments to try and alter my perception of myself whether that be about my ideas, preferences, accomplishments, etc. For a while, I actually would let the judgments people would dump onto me take up space in my head. Finding myself overanalyzing situations if they ended poorly, or if nothing came of it in the way that I had originally intended. I became very paranoid of how I was being perceived, finding the right words to say, what were the right moves for me to take in life.
Through my journey through spirituality, yoga, and meditation I have found my true inner voice and self. Don’t get me wrong this is still a working progress and nothing is linear about it. I fall back into old patterns from time to time. I can honestly say that I have never been so sure of myself as I am today. Nobody could ever change the way I feel about myself, my appearance, or my journey because in actuality nobody knows the struggles, the mental journeys I have embarked on and all the times I have fallen and gotten up. I take everything people spew at me with a grain of salt.
The way I show up in a room is the exact same person every time. If someone in my life leaves or starts to not treat me well, it’s not a reflection of me or something I have to alter about how I act or behave. I truly enjoy myself in totality and it is a very different feeling than what I used to feel like when I was my “confident” self. I do still look at situations from other’s perspectives and see what I can still work on in myself. I don’t beat myself up anymore. If I was not as outgoing as I wanted to be at a certain moment or if I couldn’t find exactly the right words to articulate my thoughts… I don’t care…. I am gentle with everyone…especially me….and I will do better next time.
I have learned to be gentle with myself because I love myself like I would love anyone else. We tend to beat ourselves up, but we have all come such a long way from where we used to be and you can always improve and evolve. I am steering the ship. I don't sit back and deal with whatever life throws at me. I make things happen for me. I trust & know that it will all happen in the divine’s timing. I cannot foresee the problems or circumstances that lie ahead with every decision. I make decisions and trust in myself and the world around me to show me the way. I am so grateful and happy for the connection I have with God,with myself, and with the world. Confidence is quiet, still, peaceful, and sure.
Relax and Trust